How can I help?
Many people typically seek therapy or counselling when there is something wrong in their significant relationships, be it with partners, family members, friends or people at work. These relationship problems may show up as constant arguments, not feeling close (or feeling "disconnected"), "push/pull" patterns in their relationships, people-pleasing, or in many cases, feeling lonely and isolated because they have not successfully formed or maintained the relationships they want, no matter how hard they might have tried. It is common for people to discover that problems are "patterns" that have been around for some time.
Though not always the case, many people have experienced psychological and/or physical trauma which has affected their relationships and their mental health and is a big or the main reason why they are seeking help. I understand and work with trauma as the meaning a person has made of events they have considered traumatic for them, and how these meanings have shaped where they are now and why they might be seeking help. Traumatic events can range from being a victim of abuse, discrimination, violence or war; to ongoing stress at work, to emotional neglect growing up, to losing someone important through death or relationships ending. Traumatic events might have happened a long time ago or very recently, or are happening now.
While many people who seek therapy have not experienced trauma, many others have not been aware that certain experiences in their lives have had a traumatic impact. The impact of traumatic experience may show up as addiction-type behaviour (drugs [including prescribed medication], alcohol, gambling, porn or sex, dating sites), chronic anxiety and depression, anger, or being successful and appearing "normal", yet feeling a lot of (usually kept secret) psychological pain inside. For others, cultural factors or being neurodivergent (or neurocomplex) significantly influences their lives, mental health and relationships.
Because every person's experiences and needs are unique to them, I believe there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach. I am strongly against any idea that just because someone has experienced trauma, they must have lots of long-term therapy and other expert help to recover and get their lives where they want them to be. Naturally, some may benefit from more input than others, though in my experience, less is often more, and many people already have a lot of strengths that can help them move forward. An initial consultation and a first appointment, should you choose to arrange one, is where we will have a transparent and detailed discussion about how I can help, including the approaches I might recommend. If we reflect that I am not the right fit for you, I am happy to signpost you to other professionals and/or NHS services if this is the most appropriate pathway.
If you have more questions, the FAQs page might help. If you are a health and social care professional seeking supervision or training therapy please click here, or if you are looking for services to support your team or organisation to be more trauma-informed, you are welcome to read more here.